Yesterday, little baby Anna turned 19 days. She was baptized in a little church in a small village in the north of Italy, among a small crowd of delighted friends and family members. The little girl was sleeping peacefully while strangers were pouring water over her head and putting her into strange unfamiliar clothing, while her loving patient mother held her tight, hoping the peaceful sleep would continue for few additional hours.

Little Anna took my heart with her big blue eyes open in wonder in between meals and naps. She looks at the world with full amazement and total unfamiliarity, yet without any fear. She’s somehow confident she’ll get what she wants: the obvious question was WHEN not WHETHER.

The little baby is admired for everything she does!! She burps and everyong jumps ‘sante’ wishing her well. She farts and we all smile. She smells and we all admire that her stomach is working so well. She sleeps and we all wish her longer sleep. She wakes and everyone rushes to say hello and kiss her. She eats a lot and has a big belly and everyone just adores it. She decides to eat little and loses some of the fat, and she’s still adored for that.

It’s simply impossible for Anna to do something wrong. Even though it’s quite a challenge the feeding, sleeping, bathing energy it takes, but that’s still all taken in as pleasure for the little baby. She’s so utterly perfect that you would eat her if possible!!!

I wonder when will be the moment when all this changes? When is the moment when those innocent little creatures start turning into formatted human beings? When do they wake up on that ugly morning and realize that they no longer wish to cry for food, but prefer to stay hungry and polite than start expressing their hunger as they wish? When do they decide they will dress like their friends and not eat their vegetables because they don’t taste as good as chocolates? When do they determine it’s better to cheat in an exam than fail? That it’s ok to pretend to be happy when you’re extremely depressed? That they can no longer wear their favorite color because it’s out of fashion?

When is that infamous moment when they will turn into adults and forget what it’s like to be children?

How can we protect those little amazing gorgeous babies from this destiny? How can we convince them that it’s ok to stay who they are, and that they will still be perfect and admired? How can we express our love to them without forcing them to try and return it back by changing themselves? How would it be possible to take on some of their pains and save them some of the tears they’re bound to face?

“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death……..Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned….. “ (Song of Songs 8 )

We have many ways and words and vocabulary to describe love, but when we truly fall in love, this is when the brain suddenly stops finding phrases to describe it, then it tries to borrow from other lovers … from history … from poetry … from God-knows-where.

So indeed my friends, it looks like I’m in love J and you’ll have to bear with me until the words find their way back into my soul, for now I stay completely speechless. In order not to disappoint you, I share a piece from my favorite description of love

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails!!

(1 Corinthians 13)

Ordinary people are great!!

They flow through life with ease… never hassle themselves or others with everyday events. They know what is expected from them, and simply do it without much complaining.

They obey the orders and stick to the rules without asking many questions. They’re easy to bring up and easy to teach: they get to places where they know they should go, and avoid places they are told to stay away from. They study hard, and no one has to ask them to do something twice. They easily find a job, settle in and feel satisfied. They face no problem to find a match, have a family and become content with life.

Their needs are few and their demands are limited. They know life too well to ask for much without hope, thus they are easily satisfied.

You always see them in social events, nicely dressed, beautifully presenting themselves and looking special every day without awaiting a special occasion. Their language is different; they’re diplomatic, socially eloquent with a ready response to every question and ready remark on every gesture. They know very well what should be said when, how and why, and even the effect it will have on others.

Their days are no surprise to anyone, including themselves: today is most likely going to be like yesterday, and will do their best to make sure it is, and put extra effort to ascertain tomorrow will be no different. They know in advance what will happen and are ready for it. They spend time avoiding surprises: surprises are not welcomed in their world.

When the day is over, they finish their known duties in peace without fuss. Once they leave work, they leave earth to their own universe. They’re not particularly attached to anything: there’s danger in getting too attached to anything! It can fill your life too much then you can’t leave it.

Once their heads touches a pillow late at night, sleep finds its way quickly to their eyes, and with clear minds they rest uninterrupted, dreamless and straight, till the morning.

You wish I were like that

Instead of the weary mind, working around the clock day and night

Instead of the hopeless dreamer, always looking for change and growth

Instead of the passionate heart seeking love in all I do

Instead of the workaholic anxious to bring out the best in every task at hand

You wish I were like that!

Let me tell you my friend that this is not like me.

Yes, I do suffer and pain is my middle name.

I struggle through every step and walk an un-trodden path

But in my struggle I learn much more, and my reward in the end is even bigger.

From the heart of pain emerges contentment.

From the depth of suffering evolves passion

It’s only for those who have the courage to experience life to the fullest who realize its worth

So, don’t ask me to be ordinary.

Don’t ask me to keep my mouth shut and listen without objections.

You cannot stop the crazy volcano erupting and my heart is just as anxious to spread its energy to the world

Don’t ask the wind to stop, and likewise my mind, moving with vast speed sweeping and overturning the norms

Animals will not stop hunting for food, and deep inside me there’s an instinct, crave for a better tomorrow which keeps my muscles tight and my eyes open.

Let me go through my pains. Let me live my sleepless nights. Let me walk my weary mind’s tracks. Let me taste my salt tears and feed with my own blood.

Only then shall I truly experience life.

Some people spend their lives at the foot of the mountain,

while others spend their lives climbing.

Only those who dared to move will sit on the top

 Eric Fromm described it as “a psychological orientation of being attracted to all that is alive and vital”. Later this term was used differently, but for this article, let’s stop and see how the love for life can change humans.

Humans can be divided into two species: those who are life-lovers and those who are death-fearers. The first are those termed here Biophiliacs.

Knowing someone who’s a biophilic is a revelation. Being friends with one is a gift. Being married to one is an evolution! Despite we are all living beings, not all of us are open to the gift of life and aware of its presence. Most humans have lived through an experience which brought them closer to life – having a baby, walks in the wild or even growing a plant. However few evolve completely into lovers of life.

Modern-day biophiliacs can be detected by their openness and appreciation of life’s pleasures in all its dimensions. An openness that is never filled up by abundance or repetition or age; for all those only help to enhance the experience of life and bring in new dimensions and uncover fresh layers of enjoyment. They can enjoy the sensations of life every level: the mental, emotional, aesthetic and physical, never stopping at one level. Their speech about how much they enjoyed last night’s meal or the piece of music by Chopin can easily make others feel hungry for life.

True biophiliacs can be identified by their obsession with the great future to come, and they cannot be disheartened no matter what happens to the present. No matter how dark or depressive or unreal the present moment could be, the future always holds the promise, and they cannot remove their eyes from that. This orientation to the future helps them overcome little challenges on the way quickly, and they jump back into life after any bad experience, knowing they can make the future a lot better with what they learnt.

One cannot mistake an optimist for a biophiliac despite the closeness. Biophiliacs are very optimistic people, passionate about life and can see the good and the hope in all that is present. Yet they’re not fools who just ignore the signs of disaster or turn a blind eye to indications of failure. When faced with an eminent risk, they jump into the challenge heads-first, reassured that the life which carries them forward will somehow triumph over any signs of death.

Biophiliacs run around with ideas and projects waiting to be started. The future for them is an assured promise of greater and better and more wonderful experiences and for that they give it their best shots. I cannot forget the first Biophiliac I met: he was an 80 years engineer who outlived all his family members, but who cannot be discouraged by death under any circumstances. We met because he was looking for someone to help him conduct his new research ONLINE! His will for life simply mesmerizes anyone who meets him.

While life is almost a fact we all enjoy, many humans are actually driven by fear of death or fear of the future or fear for the health or some other form of fears. Biophiliacs somehow don’t seem to be challenged by death – not that they ignore it, but they simply take it as a part of life rather than an end. The true drive for life comes from deep inside them rather than as a reaction to the world outside. They’re in touch with their souls and this is where the will for life and enjoyment comes from.

The best literary character that bring to life the concept of biophiliac is Goldmund in the book by the renown German-Swiss author Herman Hesse ‘Narcissus and Goldmund’. In this work, Goldmund starts out as a novice in a cloister school in Medieval Europe. However, he discovers that he has a deeper thirst to understand the meaning of life, and he wanders out into the wild, experiencing life to its fullest of pleasures and excitements and fears and destitution.

I dedicate this to the memory of my dear mentor Dr. Ahmed Abdalla on the 3^rd annual memorial for his departure. He was a true biophiliac who didn’t give up to the last breath.

C: Let’s go to the movies tomorrow night. What do you guys wanna watch? Let’s go for something funny and not much thinking … I don’t any of that complex blab on my weekend!

F: I agree. Last time that complex movie completely turned me off and I didn’t enjoy it overall. Should we go for Arabic or English this time?

B: English??? They don’t even know how to laugh let alone make funny movies!

M: But you must agree the silly movie we watched last month was hilarious.

B: How can I forget! I suffered a stomach ache from the food we had at the cinema

C: I suggest we go for fancy cinema this time. Never mind paying a bit more.

F: Things are getting more expensive every time we go out. Guys you must start to be conscious of the global economic crisis.

B: the only crisis I know now is that my computer is acting like it has a virus!

M: No way!!! I had one last week!! They had to format my computer altogether I lost all my programs.

F: don’t tell me you lost that MMM software I wanted from you!!!!! I would go crazy if you tell me you lost that one. Did you make a backup?

C: You reminded me now to copy my files from the old computer … you never know what you could use in the future!

M: The only folders I backed up were my songs.

B: I must say I admire your taste in Music. Remind me to get some music sugggestions when we meet next

F: Friday won’t work for me. How about Saturday night?

C: There’s a great movie playing special edition on Friday. We can check that out.

M: I cannot drive all the way out of town just to watch a movie for two hours. I’ll probably skip this Friday.

B: Where’s A anyway? He can tell us about the latest rumors in town!

F: Speaking of food, there’s this new cafe which just opened downtown. We should give it a shot sometime!

C: We would need tickets for the speical showing! Anyone has K’s number to try and let him do it?

M: Installing a good virus scan is on the top of my list this weekend.

F: I’m not going to spend too much money on all that stuff, there’s a Global Crisis you guys!

C: which reminds me, I owe you twenty bucks from last week!!!

M: I’m impressed you’re tracking the new cafes in the area. What’s the particular reason?

F: You speak of twenty bucks as if it’s a fortune!

C: so what’re we going to do after all?

(silence)

(silence)

(silence)

C: hellooooooo!! anyone on the line?????

(silence)

(silence)

(silence)

C: ok, I go sleep now! I have work to do in the morning.

One year passed since the release of my first book, By Monet. Throughout the year, the most common question asked was, “Why Monet?” A birthday is a good time to celebrate, and maybe also shed some light on the background of the story and the painter.

Monet, was a French painter who lived during the late 19th and beginning of 20th Century. He was among the founders of a movement in art that is termed ‘Impressionism’. The movement is said to have started as a reaction to the invention of photography, which rendered all the arts of portrait and indoor painting pretty much obsolete and all the rich and famous were getting their photographs taken to avoid the hassle and high costs and time required for a painted portrait. The art of painting was somehow at risk!

The impressionists however, claimed that this cannot be the case; in essence, art is not just about capturing the still moment of life, but also includes the own artists’ views, values and thoughts. They started a revolution! Art moved away from trying to mimic the details of reality into a method to transfer the perception of reality as the painter sees it, with his own life and experience imbedded, moving it as far away from what a photographer can possibly capture. Monet and his contemporaries went out to paint in open air, carrying their pallets and boards and standing by the seaside and in flowering gardens to paint the impression nature’s scenery left inside them. Using raw colors was one of their marks, laying layers on top of layers, to get the mass of thickness to recreate the jumble nature offers in their viewpoints.

Monet in particular had a unique angle into painting; he would sit in a spot for days and weeks or months, capturing different moments of shades and light in one spot, and making multiple versions of the painting. While the painter stood an arm-length away from the canvas, the final finished painting cannot be seen properly except from a distance, when all the colors and patches come together to shape the final impression.

The painting adorning the cover of the book is “Impression: Soleil Levant” or “Impression: Sunrise”, which is Monet’s contribution to the Salon de Refuse held in Paris at the time when the artist and his colleagues were refused from the famous Salon de Paris. The reviewer of the exhibition termed this group of artists the “Impressionists” following the name of the painting, and using it as a way to demean it. The term however suited very well the themes, and till now that’s how the movement is known.

Why Monet then?

Because the understanding of Monet’s art is what taught me the philosophy of life! We understand ourselves, understand others and understand the world depending our closeness to its essence. The closer we are to someone, the more we see what they’re made of, while the further we are, we see a more homogenous yet blurred impression, which is sometimes nicer. On another dimension, as we zoom into at our own little problems, we fail to see that, in the bigger picture, they may not even exist!

That’s why the book carries the analogy from the paintings of Monet, and that’s why his masterpiece which termed the entire art “Impressionism” is warmly hosted on its cover.

Wishing you a good read and happy birthday to my little baby turning one year old tomorrow J

www.marymourad.com/bymonet

The most exciting part of football is in fact fans! Football fans are not a bunch of maniacs who adore the adrenaline rush associated with the heat of the match and the thrill they enjoy when the ball is just “that close” without actually getting in. Football fans could also be smart, successful people with much other stuff to do in their lives … they still enjoy watching football.

Observing a bunch of football fans in a restaurant just last week was an enlightening experience that proves many things about the world; or maybe just reiterates truths which otherwise would be hard to explain.

1) Club fans could be defined as die-hard fans to the extent with which they engage with the players in the game, acquiring a sense of unity with the team and its audience. Otherwise, they’re not really into the game.

2) Real fans don’t back off when the club fails. They sometimes share their disappointment with others, and would never be able to support another club.

3) Fans are important for the match! They are needed by the players as much as they need to watch the players. The spur of noise around the arena and the cheering voices encircling the stadium during the game have a critical impact on the morale of the players and the coach.

4) Many fans are “objective” and by that I mean: able to give credit to a good match or a competitive team even if they don’t support them. But that would NEVER mean that their team did worse!

5) Every club has fans. That’s the other big surprise - why would anyone support a weak or small or new club? But it seems that fans find a reason always. Diversity is a blessing to some clubs more than others.

6) Fans could be such because of inheritance, taste, popularity, fashion, or force.

7 ) Serious fan-torture is to attend a match with the competitive team fans

The world is round for fans: every club gets one chance to win at least once in their lifetime, and that’s enough to keep the fan spirit.

9) Fans are born; they hardly ever evolve!!!! Serious fans hardly ever change clubs in their lifetime. They consider their fan-hood a type of lifetime requirement that they have to live with!

10) Fans are not necessarily rich people or poor people or educated or belonging to certain region or even necessarily a country. For the love of football, everyone’s equal!

Is football really just a game?

It doesn’t surprise anyone driving around Cairo to see this statement adorning the bumper of many microbuses among many other statements of all sorts of wisdom statements. But are feelings really a blessing?

Because if we feel, we will have to understand. Two cars just bumped into each other causing some scratches to the pain but no one hurt. The two drivers go out and scream in each others’ face, each claiming the other is wrong. The shouting continues for a while, getting louder and louder. They eventually stop seeing each other altogether and each is actually seeing the challenges of fixing the car.

If only the first driver felt the irritation of the other driver who made the mistake and noticed how afraid he is, he would have understood the terrifying feeling of being held in another’s mercy and he would have to let him go in peace – which he would never do as it implies he’s weak!

If only the second driver would feel the burden of the first driver’s car-fixing costs and time, he would have realized the extent of the challenge he’s facing and would have had to admit to his mistake – which would imply he’s too weak to fight back!

Because if we feel, we will have to forgive. She screamed in his face in the morning for forgetting her birthday. He screamed back claiming she forgets everything including that he has a critical meeting this morning and needed to give it full attention. She screams back that it’s all about him. He screams forward that it’s because it’s always about her that she didn’t even notice he’s doing everything for her.

If only she felt his guilt for not remembering her birthday… she would have to feel sorry and assure him that it’s ok and they can still do something later in the day – which would imply he gets away with his forgetfulness!

If only he felt the unhappiness and deep fear of not being loved any more because she’s getting older…. he would have never prioritized anything but her birthday … and simply admit to his mistake and would have to forgive her for storming at him – which would imply he’s not man enough to stop his wife!

Because if we feel, we will have to face ourselves. The little girl is having a temper tantrum. She’s yelling at her mother that the yogurt is not good and she insists on having a chocolate for dinner instead. The mother looks at the girl with increased impatience and stubbornness and informs her it’s either yogurt or no food at all till next morning. The little girl cries in desperation with full force while the mother watches with heightened anxiety wondering how to handle the situation.

If only the mother had felt the stubbornness and anger of the little girl, she would have realized that it was EXACTLY how she herself felt that instant, and would have known exactly that the right thing to do is face herself with calmness first so the little girl can also calm down – but wouldn’t that imply that she’s not a good enough mother able to discipline her child?

Because if we feel, we have to become too much human, and we’re so afraid to become the only humans in our worlds, so we prefer to stay as aliens waiting for a human to start feeling together with.

Because in truth, if we feel, we have to love!

- You are not Baha’i, neither Buddhist or Brahmin or any other strange type of religion. In fact, as long as you believe in my religion I am even more likely to love you!

- You are not too much into meat. As you know I’m vegetarian, and I would prefer that you never shake my hands when you’re cooking meat. It would be even greater if you stop eating meat altogether - it’s unhealthy anyway!

- You support Ahly with all your heart, soul, mind and body - and would rather die than watch a match where Ahly isn’t playing. International clubs are acceptable, as long as they never ever in their living history played with Ahly or beat him. In all instances, it’s clear that an Ahly match would take utter priority over any other.

- You listen only to Classical music. If you insist to listen to Arabic, then maybe Fayrouz would be acceptable. Otherwise no Jazz, Rock, Alternative or any other invented music forms please. The more you listen to Operas the more I’m likely to love you in fact.

- You are ready to listen to me when I want to talk, any time day or night. Would be even better if you completely shut up and totally stop talking, as this gives me even more time to talk. However, you have to respond to my conversation with frequent ‘Aha’s and ‘wow’s so you give me full attention.

- You love dogs and willing to take mine for a few weekends while I’m on holiday. Ideally you would also love my tortoises, but they can usually survive on their own for that matter.

- You do not criticize me for how I dress or how I wear my makeup or any other such trivial things. Best of course if you dress like me, but that’s not obligatory as long as you hide enough of the flesh I do not wish to see - and YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!

- You admire my taste in shoes. Fact of the matter is: I like shoes and buy too many because I’m never convinced I have enough. In fact I never have enough! But in order for me to feel better, you must specifically mention them as often as we bump into one another.

- You wake up at 7 in the morning on weekdays and 10 on weekends. This makes my life so much easier!

- You always hold parties for which I’m invited and for which I invite my friends and have my favorite food and favorite music. Best if you invite ONLY your friends which also like me.

- You NEVER EVER EVER, under any circumstances or conditions of whatever sort or shape or form or excuse, would you disagree with me! That is utterly unforgivable!

- You know and believe with all your heart that my voice is marvelous when I sing in the shower, and my writing is inspiring when I blog every weekend.

- You are willing to lend me whatever sum of money for whatever period of time without asking whatever inquisitive questions you may wish to ask.

- You are willing to move out as soon as I no longer accept you as my neighbor under the reasons which I am free to withhold from you.

Other than that, you will see that I’m a very tolerant and kind person and you will just LOVE life next door to me.

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Wouldn’t you be afraid that this is the world we’re turning into by persecuting everyone who’s different? Won’t be intolerably scary if this was a SERIOUS ad for a neighbor?

And there … in the deep heart of noise … silence exploded.