On Our First Anniversary … A Toast


The time was getting closer to the big day – the SUNDAY of the first anniversary – and so was the question: what exactly is going on? How come a whole year is already past? What’s coming next?

 

A whole long list of questions poured into my head, but they all melted away the evening of the first anniversary with a bouquet of favorite flowers over candle lights and a “Happy Anniversary Honey” that left me floating thousand meters above earth in joy. My pen gave up yesterday while trying to put in words how that first year has felt … and somehow it’s only a timid Thank You that I try but fail to offer to the man who changed my life so much… and I fail because there’s really no Thank You …

 

There’s no Thank You because you’re no longer another YOU … we’re now a one YOU together … and it’s difficult to thank oneself …

 

There’s no Thank You because words are far too small to express true gratitude … it can only be felt not heard …

 

There’s no Thank You because there’s more to come that is even grander and better than all that’s past … and for that a different kind of Thank You is needed …

 

There’s no Thank You because suddenly when I try to speak out the “for” part it all melts away and is replaced by a warm smile that tries to tell everything … not always as eloquent as I would have liked it to be…

 

There’s no Thank You because it’s really the YOU part that matters much more than the thanks …

 

So on our first anniversary, honey, there’s no “Thanks”, but there’s “YOU” and for that I’m eternally grateful …

 

A toast for the happiest year of my life so far … and for many happier returns … Ame



Thanks for Sharing my Boredom!


It must have been an hour already. She kept looking at her watch, then at the door, then at the lady sitting at the shabby desk near the door with a large plaque in front of her with a badly written “Receptionist”. It will be the twelfth time – or maybe thirteenth, she stopped counting – when she will ask her, “When did the doctor say he was coming?” Only to receive the expected answer mentioned numerous time, “Soon in Sha’ Allah.”

 

Whether or not one believed in Allah, a moment like this one would make one re-consider!

 

She looked lazily around for something to attract her attention and hopefully absorb maybe five boring minutes of waiting. But the bare walls and the tiny ceiling windows didn’t reveal much chance of deserving more than a single instant of attention. Her eyes kept wandering from the wall to the ceiling unstopped by the cobwebs and cracks in the paint. The dull outlook of the clinic didn’t even allow her to fall into her own thoughts.

 

A magazine left on the side table managed to catch her attention about three times over the last hour. That’s a record for a poorly printed chick-flick magazine dated five years ago. But the boredom and the anticipated long wait left her desperate even for this small distraction which might last ten whole minutes – maybe even more – when she tries to leaf through the magazine and do it as slowly as possible. It may even last a whole thirty minutes if she managed to keep her attention on one page for an entire duration of twenty seconds.

 

Removing the dust off the cover, she read the cover titles with hardly much interest.

 

“Sherine admits to her third plastic surgery and reveals the name of the miracle doctor”

 

“Dina’s hottest night ever … with photos from the actual event”

 

“Five ways to lose weight without black circles around your eyes”

 

“Problems with bugs and ants at home? Here’s a homemade recipe for the rescue”

 

This last title did catch her attention for an entire minute and she even went to the index to find that it’s nearly the last topic. Great, she thought! It promised maybe even an additional twenty minutes of entertainment if she read really slowly.

 

The first article after the index was hopeless, without even a single picture to keep her attention. She skipped it in less than five seconds; aware that this could mean fifteen seconds of additional boredom she needs to handle eventually. The second article was titled, “You’re not alone … they also suffered from domestic violence.” It had two photos of women – eyes covered of course – with apparent signs of beating and one was in cast. She started reading about what’s going on in the world:

 

“Hanaa is a graduate from high school and her parents arranged her marriage to the neighbor’s son who was five years older but working in a respectable job in the factory….” And it went on.

 

She found herself absorbed in the story and thinking to herself internally, “Wow, I’m glad this is not me! The world is so evil out there!”

 

The next page had a lot of photos with the title, “Your Guide to the Season’s Hottest New Fashion … Blue and Yellow on the driving seat.” The first photo had a super-slim model in a blue dress with a yellow collar and belt. She found herself thinking, “Last time I bought a dress was five years ago. But this one is really nice. I wonder if they have the name of the store.”

 

She hardly noticed when someone called out, “Oh my God, they should stop talking about Sherine’s doctor.” She lifted her eyes off the magazine to discover, to her amazement, that there’s a new creature sitting very close to her on the same couch peeping into her magazine. The two ladies looked at one another with some amusement and animosity. She was surprised by the interruption, but even more surprised that the heading on the cover had attracted someone’s attention even five years later! “I didn’t get to this part yet,” she answered the intruder a bit shyly; catching herself also becoming excited about the topic in a strange way. “But you must have heard of the story! I mean it’s not new, but this is really invasive to talk like this about stars and their personal life!” The intruder insisted, while she was wondering how to get out of this forced conversation. So she decided to go back to reading – or watching the photos.

 

“This fashion is so outdated! I might as well have kept my mother’s old dresses,” the intruder obviously insisted on the interruption. However, she found in this an element of anger as well since she had really liked that blue and yellow dress just a moment ago. “Old fashions keep coming back but with a lot of nice touches,” she was intending on forcing the intruder out of her magazine and making her own choices about what to wear. “I can understand that sometimes, but look at this blue and yellow dress! Wouldn’t it have been nicer if it were without these wide sleeves for example?” She hadn’t exactly noticed the sleeves in particular – she liked the dress as a whole and particularly the collar. Now that she noticed this, she became a little embarrassed to have thought she wanted to buy it a short while back. However, it was not defeat yet, “That’s true, but you must admit this collar here is unmatched and very sylish.” The intruder apparently found her way in by this point, “Yes, but it’s much nicer on that other dress there with the narrow short sleeve. See, they only needed to fix the sleeve to make it nicer.”

 

She didn’t like that dress at all, “But the color is horrible. It must be a color-blind person to take in this puky yellow!!!!” She was not going to leave the ground so easily.

 

“Never mind the color,” the intruder continued, “You always have strange colors in magazines because of the printing and cheap paper. But look at this third dress and its gorgeous belt. Wow!”

 

The belt was too flashy and far too big for the slim dress from her perspective, but the dress itself was nice, “I prefer that dress to the one before it of course. The belt is certainly not my style.”

 

“Why not,” the intruder questioned, “You don’t look fifty years old, you have to try these young trendy fashions my love, otherwise youth departs you. This is made for us, if we don’t wear it nobody will!”

 

She hated to be called out-of-fashion so she threw the last bullet back at the intruder, “I wouldn’t wear something that’s five years old! This magazine issue dates back five years.” She felt so victorious that she could hardly contain her thrill and simply had to smile in the face of the intruder who found herself stuck in a corner due to her outdatedness and inability to differentiate between seasons of fashion. But she wasn’t going to lose the war just because she lost a battle.

 

“Belts are in and out of fashion all the time! One day they say wear large thick belts, the next day they’re sitting at the hips, the following they are at the chest. It’s impossible to follow it all, but it’s important to wear something you like. But forget about fashion, did you notice this model’s haircut? She must have really bad hair so it sticks out so much.” The  intruder was insisting on gaining back her grounds.

 

She looked at the haircut and didn’t find it particularly amusing. But the necklace caught her attention, “The necklace she’s wearing is something! I wonder who makes these strange necklaces for fashion shows?”

 

“They’re made by the designers themselves, of course,” the intruder went on, “but they’re always hard to find. It’s impossible to find good jewelry in Egypt if you’re not filthy rich!”

 

“This is so true,” she admitted passionately, “looking for a nice necklace or earrings is very difficult! There must be a way to make them cheaper or else we’ll all have to start learning to make our own jewelry.”

 

Amid the heated conversation the door was opened and the long-awaited doctor rushed directly inside the inner room. The bored lady at the reception pointed to her, “Your turn ma’am.”

 

She looked at the intruder apologetically, “So sorry dear I have to go in now. But it was really nice talking to you. I’m sure we’ll meet again.” The intruder almost had a dry tear in her eyes, “So glad to have met you my love, you go in and take care of yourself. I always come to this doctor at least once a year.”

 

And she went into the room.

 

The intruder looked around the ceiling … her eyes lazily moving between the window and the floor and finally asked the receptionist, “The doctor is not going to spend very long time with her, is he?”



Saying Goodbye On Your Birthday – Farewell Dr. Nasr Hamed Abu Zayd


The news of the death of the Egyptian Islamic thinker and scholar Nasr Hamed Abu Zayd struck me as very difficult to believe. Although my luck didn’t have it that I meet him in person, but the news struck me as a personal loss! There are many many things which could be said about him … how he was a moderate thinker who bravely defied the norms in his attempt to understand sacred text … how he became the victim of fundamentalists who called him an unbeliever and filed the famous court case asking for his separation from his wife on the pretext of the impossibility of union between a Moslim woman and a faithless man. It’s hard to remember those years in the history of the intellectual Egyptian debate on whether this is an attempt against moderate Islam or actually against any thinker who dares to open his mouth in the era of an acclaimed dictatorship whose biggest fear is minds!

The results of the case was his exile for the rest of his life, only daring to visit for rare occasions over a terribly rough period of 15 long years! Finally to take his last breath in his home country, Egypt, and be saluted by the hundreds or possibly thousands that showed up for the funeral and the memorial yesterday.

I couldn’t just let the occasion pass without sending deepest regards to the late intellect who combined an honest regard and faith in Islam with a bright, moderate and critical mentality that bravely expressed itself amid the dark years of silence in this country.

Many sources picked up his work, and some of his lectures are still found on YouTube for anyone interested to know more about this great hero of our times.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nasr_Abu_Zayd

Maybe the one thing that touched me personally about his life was his deep honesty and full practice of what he preached. Never struggling or speaking harshly about anything, he clearly stated his arguments and very quietly stated his case. It’s probably this quiet, kind confidence that raised all the rage of the world against him; had he been a screaming scholar preaching out in the wild and asking people to believe in him, probably it wouldn’t have raised so much worry publicly because the like of those people are never taken very seriously. But the real risk comes from someone that can easily be called “kind” and “honest”, who can be easily believed and sympathized with. That is why exile was the only way out; assassination like what happened with Farag Fouda was going to raise an even greater turmoil this time and bring his work closer to the light … so was imprisonment like with Saad el Din Ibrahim (with all due respect to the differences in personalities and contributions of course) which was going to bring even greater rage upon the failing ruling regime. Exile and banishment from Egyptian public life was the true prison for him … and which he considered to be equivalent to his first death … separated from the country of his birth … but at least united with his wife; the faithful woman who stood beside him at the toughest times.

The memorial held yesterday was another display of this great man’s legacy and which will only stand higher and cross many more borders now that he is safely enjoying another world. Dr. Ibtihal Younis, his faithful wife, stood to receive condolences at the front door of the mosque; standing amid the many men from the family, holding her grounds as this one brave woman who shook men’s hands at the door of a mosque … an unprecedented case for such acclaimed mosque situated in the heart of Cairo and next to the symbol of the Egyptian tyrannical bureaucracy – Mogamaa El Tahrir. The entrance for men and women was unified for the first time according to my memory of Moslim memorials and both mingled in a silent revered space that is terribly missing this brave man. An honorable show of hundreds of intellects and artists and businessmen and activists made the memorial last longer than most normal ones … it was 10.30 when I finally left and some hundreds of people were still there and more coming in … most of them never related and the majority never actually saw him personally while alive. But it hardly mattered to any of us … we were all condoling ourselves in a loss too big to grasp at such sad moment.

Farewell Dr. Abu Zayd … and deepest condolences to Egypt; the unfortunate country who loses its lovers much faster than it loses its enemies.



When Did This Happen?


The empty house without his presence is unbearable. After all the mourners left, the desolate place was nothing but a large silent tomb in which she felt almost ready to be buried. Every corner in the house carried his memories … it was far too much to handle! Although the family had clearly instructed that she spends three days at his house to relieve his soul as it was believed, she couldn’t care less by all that: she was getting ready to leave the place.

 

Maybe out of guilt or out of cherishing a memory; she looked for something to take with her so she can keep the recollection throughout the night. Her sense drove her to the study where he spent almost all his last ten years. The books and papers on top were all just material for study or references he kept aside for later reading. Her hand picked his large black notebook where most of his writing hides until the typist show up. “That’s personal enough,” she thought and grabbed it and was getting out when she spotted a photo album and decided to pick it up as well. Unsure whether it belonged to him or to one of the many children and grandchildren that once filled the house, she leafed through it quickly to confirm … only to drop it out of shock at a photo of him next to his latest nurse in an embrace.

 

This can’t be her father … her mind just couldn’t accept it!

 

“When did this happen? Where was I when it happened? He stayed loyal to my late mother till his death …or didn’t he?” Her mind raced through her head as she started realizing that maybe the image she had always kept for him was never really the true one. Unable to contain her curiosity, she decided to take the full trip into his belongings.

 

The photo she spotted wasn’t the only one … there were five similar ones. He didn’t seem to hide them or put them in a particularly discreet location; they were just lying there amid family photos for holidays and vacations and birthdays.

 

“When did he get this close to the nurse? How could he do that to us?”

 

She leafed through his notebook and also found a small photograph of the nurse among his papers with what seemed like a short note to himself

 

No one pays attention to me anymore except her. The kids are all grown and gone. They wouldn’t even notice that she’s here with me! They just come and go as visitors do, hardly recognizing the house of their childhood, barely acknowledging my existence beyond the daily calls and weekly visits. Only her presence reminds me that I exist.

 

Her tears flowed hard. How is it possible that he never talked to them about all this or even showed a sign of dissatisfaction? He was always grateful for their visits and calls and never complained even ONCE that they’re not caring enough. On the contrary, he always expressed that things are very well with him and was perfectly fine to be left alone while they travelled for vacation sometimes. But it seems that beyond those smiles and kind words laid hidden a deep loneliness that stayed with him almost all the time … except with her!

 

Everyone knows this nurse, but no one ever doubted how they became close. Did they marry? Did they travel together to places? How can we find that nurse again now? How will the brother and sister receive this? She could already picture her oldest brother turning red and furious and screaming out that this could not be possible and that the father had gone crazy during his last days to get into such an affair. The brother will be most worried that this woman could claim part of his inheritance, but he would never recognize that he himself has done nothing for the old father and lived in his faraway estate paying only his annual festival visits. The old sister will complain that she has not been involved in all this, and that if she had been around none of it could have happened, except of course she lived abroad for her husband and children not on her own will. 

 

She sat there leafing slowly through the notebook scribbles looking for more clues on what this was all about and how it had turned out. Many pages later she found another note marked with a paper tissue

 

I’m no longer sure whether she’s still with me out of pity or greed or actual passion. She’s much younger than I am and it’s difficult to know for sure what she wants. I’m tending to believe that it’s a bit of everything … and that’s fine. I can promise her a decent chunk of money when I pass away to satisfy her greed and keep her longest. Not much time is left anyway and my children have more than enough.

 

Something inside her contested this notion: why give his own money to a stranger rather than his own family? But that thing was silenced when she realized that she also has been away and wouldn’t have done any of this caretaking no matter how much they paid her! She reflected for a second before discovering the last piece marked with a dead and dry leaf

 

What she’s done to me is beyond forgiveness. She thinks I’m an old fool! Well, she deserves what she’s getting. But even with this deceit, I’m unable to imagine life without her! She has become the only voice in my empty world. What a silly girl she is! If she had only waited a short while she was going to receive her big gift when I die. Well, at least now I know that even she won’t miss me too much. It’s ok. I’m finally old enough to let it go and worrying only for a very short while about a broken heart.

 

Broken heart!!!! Her dad with a broken heart? As strange as it all sounded to her and as angry as it made her feel at the beginning, her heart fell to realize that he’s been lonely and broken hearted during his last days! What an awful thing to live through at such delicate time in life! What a terrible misfortune!

When did all this happen? Where was it hiding during their visits every week? This photo album has been there all along except none of them cared to open it. He left every evidence clear and unmistaken, yet it passed their attention. When did they stop to care to the point where all this could happen like a scream in their silence?

 

The silence that finally took him away for good…



هي وهي


نظرت إليها لا تستطيع أن ترفع عينها عنها. هذه التعسة البسيطة تمتلك كل هذا؟ لديها عمل مستقر بسيط تستيقظ معه كل يوم. تعمل فقط من الثامنة صباحا حتى الثانية ظهرا. تخرج من البيت في كامل زيها وزينتها حتى الكحل لا تتغاضى عنه. متزوجة ويبدو من ابتسامتها انها سعيدة في حياتها. لديها طفلان تتحدث عنهما طوال الوقت وكيف يكبران ويلعبان. لديها كل تلك القصص المسلية التي تحكيها للجميع عن حياتها.

 

تظل تنظر إليها حتى ترحل خلف عملها من مكان لآخر بهمة ونشاط وتظل تفكر كيف أن لديها كل هذه الطاقة! إن عملها ملئ بالحركة، ربما كان هذا هو السبب؟ ربما تأكل بشكل أفضل؟ هل يمكن أن يكون لديها سر؟ هل تأخذ حبوب مقوية من نوع ما؟

 

لا تفتر عن مقارنة نفسها بها: مقارنة جسمها الممتلئ الزائد عن الحد بالجسد الممشوق للأخرى. العيون المجهدة بالمقارنة بالعيون الواسعة البراقة. الدبلة في يد الأخرى فقط وليس في يدها! كيف يكون حظها سيء هكذا في الحياة؟ ماذا ينقصها لتكون مثلها؟ هل يمكن أن يشتري المال كل هذا؟

 

تخرج من عملها المتأخر للخروج مع أصدقائها بلا هدف محدد والعودة للمنزل الفارغ في نهاية الليلة. لا تستطيع منع نفسها من التفكير في أن هذه الاخرى في نفس اللحظة ترقد إلى جوار زوجها وطفلتها الصغيرة وتنام ملء جفونها لا يزعجها شيء.

 

========================

 

تنظر إليها جالسة إلى مكتبها ولا تستطيع رفع عينها إليها. كيف تقسم العيشة هكذا بدون عدل؟ تتحرك هي طوال النهار في عمل يقسم الظهر من أجل فتات العيش، بينما تجلس الاخرى إلى مكتب طوال النهار تتفرس في شاشة عمياء ربما كانت تلعب عليها مثل الآخرين، ثم ترحل وقتما تشاء بدون أسئلة وتفسيرات وبدون مواعيد والتزامات.

 

تفكر: هل يعقل أن تضطر كل يوم للاستيقاظ من النجمة لإطعام الأطفال وإعداد الطعام وتنظيف المنزل والملابس قبل الخروج للعمل بينما كل ما يشغلها هو التلكؤ في السرير حتى يأتي وقت الذهاب للعمل؟ هل يمكن أن يكون كل حظها في الحياة هو العمل والمنزل بينما تجلس الأخرى إلى مكتبها الوثير ثم تخرج لأماكن الترفيه المثالية غير قلقة على ميزانية أو زوج منتظر بالمنزل أو أطفال يصرخون باحثين عنها. هذه الأخرى لا تضطر حتى للتزين قبل الخروج من المنزل!

 

ترحل إلى المنزل بعد يوم عمل قصير لكن شديد التعب، ويبدأ يوم عملها الثاني مع مذاكرة للولد وطعام المنزل وحماتها ووالدتها المريضة وزوجها كثير المطالب الذي لا يحرك ساكنا. في نهاية يوم رهيب من العمل تنهار وحدها في السرير إلى جوار الصغيرة التي تطلب الطعام في منتصف الليل والتي يكره والدها النوم إلى جوارها خوفا من الإزعاج وهو الذي يضطر للعمل من الصباح الباكر.

 

لا تستطيع منع نفسها من التفكير في الأخرى التي ترحل إلى المنزل وكل شغلها الشاغل هو التكاسل حول المنزل حتى يأتي موعد النوم لتستسلم للنوم بعد ضبط المنبه – الطريقة الوحيدة لتقوم من السرير في الصباح!



Thanaweya Amma: Excuse me for NOT Sympathizing!


 

A colleague was complaining with a broken heart from the difficulty of the Thanaweya Amma exams (general Baccalaureate or High School Degree examination – the official one in Egypt). I looked at her with a big surprise and the following conversation took place:

 

-       What was the problem?

-       The exam was very difficult!!!

-       Ok, and what’s wrong with that?

-       ……(perplexed shocked silence)….. Everything is wrong! Exams are not supposed to be this difficult! They are supposed to be suitable for the average student!

-       But if they’re suitable for the average student, then the distinguished students won’t have a chance to excel!

-       If they’re made to distinguish special students then the average student will get a bad grade!

-       So?

-        ….(even longer and more shocked silence) ….. So they will not get into a good university!

-       But that’s not possible! They will still get into a good university but with a lower grade.

-       That’s not true! Last year the good universities required over 98% grade for entrance. If the exams are hard, my child won’t get near this grade and won’t get into a suitable university.

-       That’s last year … if the exams are difficult then everyone will get lower grades and then the universities will accept lower scores.

-       But this will never happen! Students who didn’t study will just cheat from their neighbors and still get good scores, while my child will get a poor score.

-       If the exams are difficult then even those who cheat will not find anyone with correct answers to cheat from … so on the contrary your child has a better chance if they worked harder now.

-       But my child wants to get a good grade!!!!! Children feel really horrible if they work hard all year then get a poor grade!

-       Why?

-        ….. (no comment)

 

It was the end of the conversation and probably the last time she ever gets into a conversation with me. As it turned out, there are two basic rules governing how parents and students approach these exams:

 

Rule number one: One Must Get High Grades!

Rule number two: One Needs Easy Exams to Get High Grades!

 

And as could be seen from the previous very real conversation, the whole idea of high grades has almost nothing to do with what university the student targets: it’s almost an independent factor! All parents are looking for easier exams and higher grades, even if that really stops to have any meaning in itself.

 

It reminded me with the concept of “money illusion” from the economic textbooks: if everyone has more money, they feel good, even if in fact the prices went up swallowing the value of that extra money. We all remember from childhood years the question we asked our parents: if there’s a place where they print money, why don’t they just print money for everyone as much as they want?

 

Well, it seems someone picked the idea: exams are becoming easier and scores are free for everyone! Enjoy the fruit of stupidity as it flows into top universities which then are required to lower their standards to accept the new flood of mediocre students who hardly manage through their years of education and finally graduate to become horrible doctors, engineers, accountants, lawyers or whatever miserable profession they decide to get into.

 

How on earth do you want me to be treated by a doctor who scored 98% in their Thanaweya Amma exams but who really doesn’t remember how the chemical reactions of medicine take place in the body … because “that subject I didn’t really study since it was a very easy exam.”

 

I am speechless … but believe me, the above scenario DID HAPPEN and will continue to happen as long as “score illusion” still exists even among the top and most educated of this country!

 

We 3agaby!



المونديال وذكريات الأصفار المتلاحقة


تابعت عن قرب بعض مباريات المونديال بجنوب أفريقيا الأيام القليلة الماضية، ولم أتمكن من منع نفسي من التفكير بألم في كل ذكريات الأصفار المؤلمة التي نالتها مصر من جراء العدو الأعمى خلف ملاعب كرة القدم في الوقت الذي اعتقدت فيه أن نجاحات الكرة كافية وقادرة على إخفاء باقي أخفاقات النظام، ولكن ينكشف المستور في لحظة ليعجز الفشل عن الاختباء وتظهر الخيبة التقيلة أمام العالم بفضائح دولية ننشر معها كل الغسيل الوسخ بالمياه العكرة التي تصل رائحتها عبر السنوات.

كان الصفر الأول الشهير عندما قررت مصر أن تستعرض العضلات وتتقدم بملف لاستضافة المونديال بدلا من جنوب أفريقيا. ورغم كل الاستعدادات على قدم وساق وكل الادعاءات الباطلة عن عظمة البلد العريق وقدراته اللولبية على إخفاء البلاوي، إلا أنه أخفق في ستر ما يكفي. ويتضح فيما بعد حجم الوعود الكاذبة التي قدمها النظام، ورغم ذلك يفشل في إقناع العالم بقدراته على الكذب. يعني حتى الكذب ما نجحناش فيه!!

وحين أتابع المباريات يتضح تماما لماذا كان يجب أن تسقط مصر في امتحان المونديال!!! بما أنني لست من محللي كرة القدم اللولبيين وأخصائيي الكرة، إلا أنني أتابع بمنطق المتفرج وأقدم ملاحظات قد تنفع النظام في المستقبل!

أولا: هناك فرق واضح في درجات الحرارة بين مصر وجنوب أفريقيا. تصور الفارق أن تلعب وتتابع المباريات في درجة حرارة 30 أو أكثر في مصر، بينما تتابعها في حرارة 20 مثلا في شتاء جنوب أفريقيا! بالطبع مدرجاتنا الخالية من الاستعدادات للصيف لم تكن الخيار الأفضل بالمقارنة في نفس التوقيت ببلاد أخرى. وحين أتابع إعلانات ملف قطر الذي يتقدمون به لمونديال 2022، الإعلانات كلها تظهر المدرجات المغطاة! ياترى ليه؟؟؟؟

ثانيا: اختارت جنوب أفريقيا مدينة كيب تاون لاستضافة أهم المباريات، وهي مدينة ساحلية لطيفة هادئة مرحة تخلو من مخلفات المدن الصناعية الكبرى مثل جوهانسبرج العاصمة. وهذا أيضا على خلاف ما فعلناه في مصر باقتراح استضافة المباريات الكبرى بالقاهرة: عاصمة التلوث والزحام والمخلفات في العالم الثالث. تصوروا معي لو كان الاقتراح بالاسضافة في الأسكندرية أو شرم الشيخ؟ هل كان يلقى نفس النتيجة؟

اكتفي بالتحليل عن الصفر الأول وانطلق للصفر التالي.

الصفر الثاني جاء مع نتيجة النزال المصري الجزائري، وليس النزال الذي تم في الملعب ولكن الذي تم في ملابسات الماتش الذي استضافته مصر والذي توالت فضائحه حتى الأيام القليلة الماضية. لقد قام المشجعون باستضافة لاعبي الجزائر بأفضل وسائل الترحيب والصداقة المتناهية، حتى أن اللاعبين كسروا الأتوبيس على أنفسهم من الداخل ليخرجوا ويشاركوا الترحيب الدافئ لإخوانهم المصريين. وطبعا الرواية الرسمية كانت على كل الألسن حتى جاء الصفر الثاني: اتهام واضح لمصر وتسجيلات وشهود على أحداث العنف المصري ضد الجزائريين والحكم على مصر بالغرامة!!!!

الصفر الثالث والذي جاء في أعقاب الصفر الثالث كان التقدم بملف اعتداءات الجزائريين على المصريين في السودان، وهو الصفر الأصعب في اعتقادي لأن النظام قد عقد النية على الحصول على واحد-صفر بأي شكل في هذا السباق بالتحديد. لقد تفضل علية القوم بمشاركة المشجعين البسطاء والسفر بأنفسهم وترك كل مهامهم الشاقة بمصر للتشجيع بالسودان. وبعد هزيمة مصر الساحقة العادلة من الجزائر، هتفوا صارخين بالظلم الذي تعرض له اللاعبين والمشجعين المساكين. ولكن، ويا للمفاجأة: لا يوجد دليل واحد كافي ضد الجزائر! لا أعلم إن كان أحدهم قد أشار إلى شهادة السيد علاء والسيد جمال باعتبارها شهادة حق تكفي لإثبات الواقعة، ولكن النهاية البائسة بحفظ التحقيق تثبت أن الروايات الرسمية للأنجال المحترمين كانت تمتلئ مثلها مثل سابقاتها، بمبالغات وأكاذيب لم تصدقها محكمة الفيفا …. مع أنه مين الجزاير دي يعني اللي يصدقوها؟؟

في الحقيقة فضيحة مصر بلغت أقصاها بالفعل مع نتيجة كاس أفريقيا الذي انهالت فيه مصر على فرق أفريقيا حتتك بتتك كأنها فجأة تنتقم منها ضد أحداث كأس العالم – وفجأة تأتي الأجوان المتتالية. فهل قررنا التخلي فجأة عن كأس العالم والاكتفاء بالتمسك بكأس أفريقيا؟ لكن يبدو أنه لم يصدق أحد غيرنا أن كاس أفريقيا هو أهم كأس في العالم!

لا أحد يدري. ولكن الأصفار المتلاحقة تظل تطاردنا حتى نعثر على “الواحد” الذي طال انتظاره!

أنت فين يا واحد!!!!!!!



رجل شجاع – one brave man


English Below

اصطدمت السيارتان أمام عينه ورأى الساقط على الأرض وسط بركة من الدماء على إحدى طرق القاهرة السريعة، فلم يفكر لبرهة أو يتردد … أوقف سيارته وأسرع نحو الجريح

 

 

لماذا يبدو هذا التصرف غريبا؟

 

 

لأن في بلدنا العزيزة هناك قاعدة تدرس بوضوح مع دروس القيادة و تعد أهم بكثير من إشارات المرور: إذا رأيت حادث (أو حتى إذا تسببت في حادث) عليك الجري بأسرع ما لديك، لأنه من الوارد جدا أن يتم اتهامك على أنك المتسبب ولا يتركك المارة أو البوليس حتى تكون قد عوضت الجميع عما تعرضوا له أضعافا مضاعفة – هذا إذا لم يوجد بموقع الأحداث من يريد الانتقام منك وإلباسك تهمة لا تدري لها اصلا

 

 

ولكن هذا الرجل الشجاع الذي تكرمت بصحبته بالأمس لم يفكر بكل هذا … لم يفكر للحظة أنها منطقة شبه مقطوعة من المارة وقد لا تتوقف سيارة أخرى من هلع المنظر… لم يتردد لأن بصحبته فتاة قد تصاب بالهلع أو يحاول أحد مضايقتها … لم يقلقه شيء سوى أن هناك شخصا بالخارج بالحاجة لمساعدة وقد لا يحيا حتى يأتي آخرون

 

 

ولكن كالعادة ما أن تتوقف سيارة حتى تتجمهر سيارات تالية كأنما تمخض عنها الهواء، ويحضر الأخصائيون والمتعاطفون والمتفرجون والغاضبون جميعا ليقوم كل بدوره المعتاد في مثل هذه الأحداث

 

 

لماذا لا يبدو هذا غريباً؟

 

 

لأنه باختصار هناك بالفعل “ضحية” يمكن تلفيق التهمة لها – اي الرجل الشجاع – وبالتالي يقل الحظر على بقية السيارات والتي غالبا ما تقف للفرجة قبل أي شيء واحيانا قليلة للصراخ في وجه من يعتبرونه المذنب الأساسي. في النهاية يتحول الرجل الشجاع إلى مذنب أو شاهد وفي الحالتين تصبح السيارات التالية في موقف القاضي أو الشهم … وهي مواقف تخلو تماما من أي شبهة اشتراك في الحادث

 

 

وتطوع الرجل الشجاع أولا بالاتصال بالاسعاف … ولكن بعد قليل أدرك أن الأمر مستحيل لأنه لا يعرف أسم المنطقة أو كيف يصفها للإسعاف … فقام بالتطوع بما هو أخطر: بنقل المصاب إلى أقرب مستشفى وهو غارق في دماؤه

 

 

لماذا يبدو هذا التصرف خارجا عن حدود العقل؟

 

 

لأنه مع الأسف التطوع بالمساعدة مثل هذه في موقف مثل هذا يعني تأكيد أنه المذنب وليس آخر … وآثار الدماء المحتمل داخل سيارته يكون الدليل الأوحد في حادث مثل هذا

 

 

ولكن تجمهر البشر بعد دقائق وامتلأ الشارع عن آخره بمن يصيح وينادي ويطلب الإسعاف – لقد دفعت شجاعته الجميع على إبداء المرؤة والشهامة واصر البعض أن يكون صاحب الشرف في المساعدة

 

 

وهنا انصرف الشجاع ليدع للمصاب بعض الهواء ليتنفسه بعد أن تجهمر جيش لا يعرف مصدره ليعرض خدماته

 

————————————————-

 

لن أذكر أسم الشجاع لأنني أتمنى أن يرى الكثيرين أنفسهم ابطال هذه الحادثة …. أتمنى أن يأتي اليوم الذي يرى فيه كل مصري نفسه هذا الشجاع

 

======================================================

 

Two cars pumped in front of his eyes on one of Cairo’s highways, and he saw a man fall down amid a pool of blood. He didn’t hesitate for a single second …. he simply stopped his car and rushed to the wounded man.

 

 

Why would this sound strange?

 

 

Because in this dear country there’s a clear rule that must be taught together with driving lessons, and is far more important than knowing the stop signs: if one sees an accident (or even is involved in one) they should run as fast as they possibly can, because it is quite likely that they get accused of being the cause of the accident, and then neither police nor passer-bys will let one go until they have repaid everyone for the damage they caused tenfold – of course assuming there’s no one with particular animosity who wishes one bad or wishes to lock them in a case out of sheer cruelty.

 

 

But this brave man, with whom I had the honor to share the ride, didn’t think about all that! He didn’t give a damn that the location is totally empty from witnesses or passer-bys who could help; he didn’t hesitate that maybe the lady next to him might freak out or be subject to harassment; he simply worried about one thing: there’s a man out there who needs help, and may not make it till others arrive.

 

 

However, as usual, as soon as one car stopped long enough, a fleet of other cars start to crowd around from thin air. Suddenly all the experts, the observers, the angry, the curious and others join to play their respective roles in similar situations.

 

 

Why doesn’t this sound strange?

 

 

Simply because they perceive that there’s already a “victim” at the scene; namely the brave man; and that significantly reduces the risk on others. The brave man become either guilty or a witness … in which case the newcomers would be the judges or the rescuers – a situation which has no chance of being involved in the accident itself.

 

 

The brave man first proposed to call an ambulance … however he gave up on the idea since he had no clue about the address or how to describe the location. So he volunteered with a seriously dangerous proposal: to carry the wounded man to the nearest hospital while soaking in blood!

 

 

Why does this sound totally insane?

 

 

Because unfortunately offering such big help in these situations proves that one is guilty … and the traces of blood to be found in his car would only be proof of that. “Why else would he do that,” many will wonder.

 

 

However, it was few minutes before the massive crowd was hit by this bravery and people started screaming to call an ambulance while others displayed expertise in handling the wound … all somehow touched by the show of bravery and intending on taking part of the honorable act.

 

 

By this point the brave man decided to leave the scene and let the poor victim gather some air amid this crowd anxious to help.

 

———————

 

I will not mention a name for this brave man because I hope that many will see themselves as heroes for this story … how I wish a day would come when every Egyptian would see himself as this brave man!

 



إعلام أم ….؟


 

 

حظيت أمس بشرف الحضور والمشاركة في مؤتمر “مصريون ضد التمييز الديني” الثالث بعنوان“الإعلام والمواطنة”. والحق أن المؤتمر كان بالنسبة لي مفاجأة ليس لأن موضوع الإعلام وتشويهه في مصر هو موضوع جديد ولكن لأنني اكتشفت بحق معنى أن تكون صحافيا مصريا في عهد كهذا الذي نعيشه

 

 

أن تكون صحافيا مصريا اليوم يعني أنك “راجل غلبان” تعمل لحساب آخر يطلب منك انواع مختلفة من المستحيلات وتحتاج معها ان تكتشف انواع متفاوتة من الحيل للتعامل مع هذه المتطلبات، بما فيها الاتفاق مع بعض “المصادر” لتسهيل الحصول على المعلومات المستحيلة وما يترتب على ذلك من “سبوبة” للمصادر المعنية ويمكن أيضا “سبق صحفي” في حالات نادرة.

 

 

أن تكون صحافيا مصريا اليوم يعني أن لديك عدد غريب من الموضوعات لتغطيه في حوالي يومين من الضروري أن تقوم خلالها لزيارة لثلاث محافظات وتقابل عشرة أشخاص. بالطبع لأنك مصريا فأنت لن تقوم بأي من هذا وسوف تتمكن من الحصول على التليفونات المطلوبة وتقوم بالاتصال بأصحاب الشأن وتنقل عن ألسنتهم اي شيء هم على استعداد للإدلاء به بدون مشاكل. يفضل طبعا عدم العمل في موضوعات شائكة مثل الدين والجرائم وخلافه والاكتفاء بأخبار المحليات احتياطي يعني

 

 

أن تكون صحافيا مصريا يعني أيضا أنك يمكن أن تشارك في كل مهرجانات السينما وتقابل كل المشاهير وتلتقط لهم الصور – واحيانا حتى أن تنشر عنهم الشائعات، بشرط أن تكون حويطا بما . يكفي لئلا تنكشف أنك تقريبا لا تدري شيئا عن الموضوع  . قد يتاح لك الوقت لتتفرج على الخمس دقائق الأولى من كل فيلم ولا يتطلب الأمر كثيرا لتعرف كل ما تريد عن القصة والحبكة الدرامية والبطل والبطلة ومن القاتل في المشهد الأخير. بالطبع هناك أفلام تخدعك ولكن قليلا ما يأتي أحدا بعدها ليحاسبك أن ما كتبت هو عن جهل بالفيلم وليس عن نقد بناء

 

 

أن تكون صحافيا مصريا يعني أحيانا ان يوجد بعدك “ديسك” يمكنه تقريبا أن يغير أي شيء تكتبه إن لم يشابه أولويات المطبوعة أو لم تكن لغته “مثيرة” بما يكفي  . فيمكن للديسك المحترم مثلا تغيير عنوان موضوعك أو الاكتفاء بربع الحقائق المكتوبة. وليس من النادر أن يقرر الديسك الاستغناء تمام عن كتابتك والاكتفاء بالتصريحات الرسمية عن الموضوع وفي هذا السلامة للجميع

 

 

أن تكون صحافيا مصريا يعني انك تعمل على الأقل في جريدتان وثلاث محطات تليفزونية تعد فيها أربعة برامج. وبالطبع لأنك شخص ذكي لا يحب إضاعة الوقت فأنت تتأكد من دعوة كل ضيوفك في التليفزيون للإدلاء بتصريحات للجريدة أو إجراء حوار أو حتى كتابة موضوع بدلا منك في أحيان نادرة طبعا – فأنت تتقاضى أجرا لا “يأكل لقمة عيش” ومطالب كل يوم بتقديم الحقيقة العارية للعالم

 

 

أن تكون صحافيا مصريا يعني أنك تستطيع القيادة بسرعة قصوى والركن في أي مكان بسيارتك لأنك تعرف أنه لا يوجد رجل مرور واحد يريد التورط بوضع أسمه وصورته في الجريدة صباح الغد بل ويمكنك أحيانا الاستفادة في استخراج الأوراق الرسمية ورخصة المرور بدون حتى عناء الذهاب بنفسك للقسم

 

 

أن تكون صحافيا مصريا يعني أنك تشقى خلف معلومة أو تحقيق يتضح بعد قليل أنه لا يهم أحدا

وينتهي به الأمر في سلة المهملات مثل آلاف أمثاله والتي لم تعد مهمة بالمقارنة بأخرى . وقد تكون أحيانا الوحيد الذي يعرف الحقيقة ولا يستطيع حتى النطق بها أمام الآخرين لأن قصتك قد شوهت بالقصة العامة ولا يوجد ما تستطيع أن تفعله سوى الذهاب للعمل في الصباح التالي

 

 

أن تكون صحافيا مصريا يعني أيضا أن هناك الآلاف التي تقرأ ما تكتبه والمئات التي تنتظر أخبارك أو كتاباتك لأنك بالنسبة لهم الأفضل على الإطلاق

 

 

أن تكون صحافيا مصريا يعني أنك تجلس في مؤتمر مثل مؤتمر “مصريون ضد التمييز الديني” وتستمع إلى حوارات تدينك أو تشكرك بشدة على أعمالك وأقوالك ولكن أيضا تستمع لشكواك بصدق وتقترح مساندتك في سعيك لأن تقدم المزيد. وتجد الفرصة لأول مرة للقاء زملائك في الكفاح وتكتشف أنك لست الوحيد الذي يعاني وأن هناك الكثيرين مثلك. كما تستطيع للمرة الأولى الجلوس مع اساتذتك كبار المهنة ومحاورتهم وسؤالهم والاستفادة من خبراتهم

 

 

أن تكون صحافيا مصريا اليوم يعني كل الاحترام وكل اللعنة … كل المميزات وكل المسئوليات .…كل الخير وكل الشر… كل المزايا والعيوب

 

 

أن تكون صحافيا مصريا اليوم فأنت في الموقع الوحيد الذي يمكنك من الوصول لقمة المجد أو أسافل الهاوية ما بين سطر وآخر … وعليك اليوم أن تختار بنفسك أيها تريد



I Will Keep writing


It occurs to me around this time, when it’s “By Monet’s” birthday, to write about the same topic: writing. The reason a writer ever holds a pen is NEVER coming from outside, because then it would be a false alarm and false gift. A writer holds a pen and gets attached to the white papers because for a writer this is the REAL world!

 

Strange? Not really! Because the more a writer sees the real world on the paper the more he can bring the empty papers to speak to the real world. It’s just like actors: unless they believe themselves no one will believe them … and there would be no cinema industry at all! The empty white papers have the same capacity to capture the attention and hearts and minds of the readers, but only if the writer can also see that!

 

A while back I received a very interesting remark from a reader (or critic, I really don’t know!) that he thinks I’m a basic, mediocre writer with hardly much taste, and little to differentiate my style from the rest of the writers; that my book and articles will not stand a chance amid the myriad of literature in the world much worthy of readers’ time. It was interesting! First, because it was my worst nightmare, and it came true! That means I should not be getting any more nightmares in the coming months. Second, because I never realized that maybe I was giving the impression of a conceited writer – which is not exactly what he says, but it does come through from the message. Last, because I never ran after the “Best Writer in the World” award anyway!

 

When I decided to open my drawer full of papers and share them online for the whole world, it was like speaking the most hidden secrets into a public microphone. Loud and clear all the inside of a person pours out on the white papers no matter how a writer tries to hide them with artistic talent or diverse manipulations.

 

However, with that comes a lot of criticism and wide range of opinions … and they are to be taken PERSONALLY. What does a writer do with criticism, I always wondered? There are many things I’m sure, but for me, it was a way to build my knowledge. For it guided me to where the challenge was with my first writings, and gave me insights into how others perceive my pearls of wisdom. The bad part of that is when people criticize who you are while criticizing your creation – intentionally or unintentionally. “Your hero is an illogical idiot who has a shaken personality and incoherent perspective,” no matter who the character is, part of the creation is inherent in the character of the creator – the insult is to me personally. Yet that also sheds light on me as a person! I start to see myself in different light … and also see a new picture that maybe in some ways better than the current.

 

However, some criticism must be dismissed … and sorry for the critic who identified himself in the above words … but that will NOT stop me from writing.

 

Now, maybe I’m not the best writer in the world – that remains to be seen – but nevertheless, I am a full writer. To stop writing for me would be like a painter not holding a brush or a director never approaching a screen. It is almost like being denied freedom! The earth would suddenly turn into a large prison if not for the pens and papers which open life up without borders to people who can only see on white backgrounds.

 

When you find a passion that strong, denying it would be just as seriously a sin!

 

On the occasion of “By Monet’s” second anniversary, I wish all my readers the best of luck finding their passions … and ask them not to worry … I will keep writing.