The empty house without his presence is unbearable. After all the mourners left, the desolate place was nothing but a large silent tomb in which she felt almost ready to be buried. Every corner in the house carried his memories … it was far too much to handle! Although the family had clearly instructed that she spends three days at his house to relieve his soul as it was believed, she couldn’t care less by all that: she was getting ready to leave the place.

 

Maybe out of guilt or out of cherishing a memory; she looked for something to take with her so she can keep the recollection throughout the night. Her sense drove her to the study where he spent almost all his last ten years. The books and papers on top were all just material for study or references he kept aside for later reading. Her hand picked his large black notebook where most of his writing hides until the typist show up. “That’s personal enough,” she thought and grabbed it and was getting out when she spotted a photo album and decided to pick it up as well. Unsure whether it belonged to him or to one of the many children and grandchildren that once filled the house, she leafed through it quickly to confirm … only to drop it out of shock at a photo of him next to his latest nurse in an embrace.

 

This can’t be her father … her mind just couldn’t accept it!

 

“When did this happen? Where was I when it happened? He stayed loyal to my late mother till his death …or didn’t he?” Her mind raced through her head as she started realizing that maybe the image she had always kept for him was never really the true one. Unable to contain her curiosity, she decided to take the full trip into his belongings.

 

The photo she spotted wasn’t the only one … there were five similar ones. He didn’t seem to hide them or put them in a particularly discreet location; they were just lying there amid family photos for holidays and vacations and birthdays.

 

“When did he get this close to the nurse? How could he do that to us?”

 

She leafed through his notebook and also found a small photograph of the nurse among his papers with what seemed like a short note to himself

 

No one pays attention to me anymore except her. The kids are all grown and gone. They wouldn’t even notice that she’s here with me! They just come and go as visitors do, hardly recognizing the house of their childhood, barely acknowledging my existence beyond the daily calls and weekly visits. Only her presence reminds me that I exist.

 

Her tears flowed hard. How is it possible that he never talked to them about all this or even showed a sign of dissatisfaction? He was always grateful for their visits and calls and never complained even ONCE that they’re not caring enough. On the contrary, he always expressed that things are very well with him and was perfectly fine to be left alone while they travelled for vacation sometimes. But it seems that beyond those smiles and kind words laid hidden a deep loneliness that stayed with him almost all the time … except with her!

 

Everyone knows this nurse, but no one ever doubted how they became close. Did they marry? Did they travel together to places? How can we find that nurse again now? How will the brother and sister receive this? She could already picture her oldest brother turning red and furious and screaming out that this could not be possible and that the father had gone crazy during his last days to get into such an affair. The brother will be most worried that this woman could claim part of his inheritance, but he would never recognize that he himself has done nothing for the old father and lived in his faraway estate paying only his annual festival visits. The old sister will complain that she has not been involved in all this, and that if she had been around none of it could have happened, except of course she lived abroad for her husband and children not on her own will. 

 

She sat there leafing slowly through the notebook scribbles looking for more clues on what this was all about and how it had turned out. Many pages later she found another note marked with a paper tissue

 

I’m no longer sure whether she’s still with me out of pity or greed or actual passion. She’s much younger than I am and it’s difficult to know for sure what she wants. I’m tending to believe that it’s a bit of everything … and that’s fine. I can promise her a decent chunk of money when I pass away to satisfy her greed and keep her longest. Not much time is left anyway and my children have more than enough.

 

Something inside her contested this notion: why give his own money to a stranger rather than his own family? But that thing was silenced when she realized that she also has been away and wouldn’t have done any of this caretaking no matter how much they paid her! She reflected for a second before discovering the last piece marked with a dead and dry leaf

 

What she’s done to me is beyond forgiveness. She thinks I’m an old fool! Well, she deserves what she’s getting. But even with this deceit, I’m unable to imagine life without her! She has become the only voice in my empty world. What a silly girl she is! If she had only waited a short while she was going to receive her big gift when I die. Well, at least now I know that even she won’t miss me too much. It’s ok. I’m finally old enough to let it go and worrying only for a very short while about a broken heart.

 

Broken heart!!!! Her dad with a broken heart? As strange as it all sounded to her and as angry as it made her feel at the beginning, her heart fell to realize that he’s been lonely and broken hearted during his last days! What an awful thing to live through at such delicate time in life! What a terrible misfortune!

When did all this happen? Where was it hiding during their visits every week? This photo album has been there all along except none of them cared to open it. He left every evidence clear and unmistaken, yet it passed their attention. When did they stop to care to the point where all this could happen like a scream in their silence?

 

The silence that finally took him away for good…

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